Collection of Funny Stories

Here is a collection of funny stories that will be updated to provide light entertainment for those of you who are working in an atmosphere of distress ... please enjoy this article....A collection of funny stories humor.

Funny story - Strange Medicine 
Patient: Doc, please help cure my disease. I often walk at bedtime.

Doctor: It's a box that can solve your problem. Every night, when you are getting ready for bed, sprinkle the contents of the box on the floor around your bed.

Patient: What is this box, Doc? whether a type of sedative powder? 
Doctor: Not. This box of tacks.

Patient: Ha! (with gawking eyes).

Funny story - failed to prevent pregnancy
A mother to see a doctor to check pregnancy... Doctors: Loh! it's mother the other day that check, is pregnant again?

Mother: yes doc?
Doctor: what is contraceptive that I gave the other day, does not you drink?. 
Mother: I drink doc!

Doctor: then why do mother can get pregnant??

Mother: yes, how do not want to get pregnant doc, drugs just to neck, my underwear is up to the knee.

Cockatoo 
In a bird shop, have 2 parrot. Both birds are different, which one likes to sing and the other one just silent, come someone wants to buy a parrot. He said to the bird seller: 
Buyer: How much is this parrot ...??

Seller: If that love to sing it 500 dollars, while is silent 1,000 dollars. 
Buyer: lho..why is bird that likes singing cheaper than that just stay quiet. 
Seller: yah .... clearly different because that silent bird is his song creator.

Crying of A Mother

A unfortunate family, finally figured out that one of their daughters to work as a prostitute in the big city.. The mother was sobbing. 
"Why are you crying?" neighbors asked, "What has happened has happened, that is important we always pray,, may she soon realized."
Wiping her tears away, the mother replied haltingly..."I weep not for that, but I was moved to tears because She was the only child of six siblings who eventually managed to get a job."

Funny story – Weapon eat master 
A reporter was covering the event of an accident. Because a lot of people who gathered around the crash site, the reporter can not break through to see the victim from close ..After thinking hard, the reporter get the idea. "move aside all, I am the victim's father!" he "Sure enough ..... the crowd let him pass. All eyes were directed to the journalist. (In the hearts of the journalist said:" It worked too!) When he reached the middle of the crowd, he was stunned to see ... a monkey child lying helplessly !

Wrong entering in the room 
hastily,a mistress into a room  that she thought it was the doctor's office. 
Mistress: "Doctor, what's wrong my body?"

a man: "Madam, you are too fat, your powder too thick, your lipstick is too red, your hair needs to be painted, you are too much smoke, and another..you are wrong into the room. doctor is in the next room. I am just newspaper carrier. "

Funny story - Divorced 
Judge: Why would you want get divorced?..

Udin: It does not fit anymore, Mr. Judge.

Judge: Why could not fit anymore?indeed who has changed the size..

Students Harleys 

In class, a senior lecturer being berated his students:

Lecturer: "just answer only not capable, eh!!! instead joking and chatting casually. Answering questions is also no one knows, so it's useless this lecture, well .. Now who was dumb standing!!" The professor snapped. A few minutes there was silence.. Suddenly from the back seat a student standing. Lecturer: "So you are absolutely sure, you're the fool that???" No sir, I just can not bear to see Mr. lecturers stand alone."

Funny story policeman, prostitutes and a grandmother

Police raided several prostitutes ​​and herded them to the police station for questioning one by one.
because prostitutes who caught very much, queuing up to exit the police station fence. not long then, Gone are a grandmother who would buy kerosene.
due to see the crowds, the grandmother ask questions to prostitutes who stand at the very back of the queue.
granddaughter, you are in the queue for what ??

because ashamed to frank, the prostitutes replied casually, were queue for candy, Grandma.

prostitutes so shocked in fact the grandmother it was also queuing up.

prostitutes ask the question, what are you doing, Grandma?. Grandma would also queuing up candy, grandchild....short story the grandmother came their turn to be interrogated

so surprised the police officers to see grandmother who had been frail was counted in the queue prostitutes. 
with great care the police ask the question, what is grandma still able to? the grandmother replied with a vibrating tone because age that had old, if just sucking anyway, grandma still okay, grandchild .... !

Similarly, a collection of humorous stories this time. You can also see my other article"The Funniest Story in the World", may be a mild-quality entertainment, and wait for the next article ...

the importance of having a sense of humor

 the importance of having a sense of humor ....human life must always socialize with other people, so that in each of socialization that certainly tucked various things, be it in the form of tension, stress, conflict, anger and rivalry with each other. best remedy for this situation usually is a smile that broke from every body, because it was the smile that could dampen any anger in man and the occasional outburst of laughter can break the tension between the disputants, and most importantly smile is also a point of worship in a religion.

What if we have a good sense of humor  that’s far from the words that are pornographic, abusive, etc. Then it will help us to live in society and be able to release the us of a problem and handcuff situation. The ability to make someone laugh out of the tension is a very good capital because it is universal, humor can bridge stiffness relationship. 

sense of humor was important enough to be owned by any person who wants easily socialize with the people. But  we do not attempt to try too hard to be funny, because one day it would make uncomfortable atmosphere. a sense of humor that should be practiced naturally just not too much or excessive. Because if too much, it will bring impression that as if in contempt and also could drop a prestige of person.

I read in a book that is an essay from "Hashim ABDULLAH", he said that a sense of humor is one indicator of a person's success, and he said that some leaders are successful and the best people who he ever met like: arafat el-shehab, Djamaludin shahidan and Abdurrahman wahid (gusdur), still not five minutes they talked, most of leaders were able to deflect the conversation spontaneously that can make laugh everyone without running out of the context and the concept of conversation.

intelligent humor indeed be able to give a plus in a good interpesonal relationships. Therefore,seriousness in achieving our ambitions and our ideals or whatever that we wants..don’t make us seem to be rigid, even seem to be people are spooky and sinister..

If you want funny stories, or humors funny that made laugh out loud. read a collection of humorous stories in the world..!!

I hope this article was useful and See you in a new article next week ...:)

The Funniest Stories

The Funniest Story in the World

If you want funny stories, or humors funny that made laugh out loud. read a collection of humorous stories in the world are the following:

Photo Memories: One day in an elementary school,all students photographed together. After the photo was printed, teacher persuade children to buy their photo, one photo for each person. He also said to his students, "You should buy this photo because all your friends here complete collected. These photos will give you sweet memories. Someday when you grow up and mature and look at this photo, I'm sure you be happy. "

silent students didn’t say anything, and then the teacher continued, "Try to imagine, while you will see this photo and say," Oh this Tina, now become a doctor. This Totok, now become official, this tari is now become artist, this ... "
A male student behind interrupt, "this teacher  who is now deceased." 

Teacher: hah....?????..

War film producer: A Film producers wanted to make a huge war movie that involving up to thousands of people as extras. "I'm going to use the army for two squads for the battle scene. Each team will consist of 25,000 people," he revealed his desire.
While a director just fascinated with the plan, "It's Fantastic".
"But, how are you going to pay their salaries?, What is not a waste of money?," Said the director.
"I have figured out!," Said the producer. "That is why I would use live ammunition, not rubber bullets!"

How the thief to get into my house: A man went to the police station with the aim to meet the burglar who broke into his home last night and had been intending to steal. "Oh, do not be ... You will get the chance to speak with him on the court ... calm down do not be emotional," said a police officer on duty at the time.
"Oh, no, no ... not so!," Said the man. "I want to meet him only want to ask how he could get into my house without waking my wife?. Though I've tried it for many years, but it never worked."

Funny Story Udin who has 10 years of wandering in the Big City will return to his home in the village.
Three days before returning home, Udin call his sister and brothers were named Mat, Tiko and Jeny.

Udin: mat..!  I want to go home, what gifts you want?
mat: (somewhat hesitant) I want HP iphone 5, brother !!!
Udin: ahh .. it's the easy, I'll bring it. I want to speak to tiko, mat !!.. what was he there??
Tiko: Hello brother ..
Udin: Hello Tiko, I will be going home tomorrow, what gifts do you like?
Tiko: Well that really brother??? (Somewhat hesitant).. Tono just want a digital camera, brother..

Udin: That's easy, I will bring it tomorrow ... please,give phone to jeny,ko !! I want to speak to jeny,.. what was she there??
Jeny: Hello Udin ... (With a melodious voice)
Udin: what gifts do you want?
Jeny: I don’t need gifts ,brother ... I could borrow had mat and Tiko...

Udin: No need hesitate... tell me what you want, jen..?!
Jeny: (with the sound was a little hesitant to answer) I fear trouble you, brother...
Udin: I ‘m not bothered, say what you want !!!
Jeny: well then Jeny want camisole ... brother

Udin: Ahh please do not that hard difficult Jen, which it simple as desired gift mat and Tiko

Jeny: wahh .. you have a lot of money, haven’t you?

Udin: Not so well, jen .. If the camisole, I'll hard to steal it... I am ashamed of, if I later have to reached into female underwear ...

One day in the jungle.
Monkey: "Tarzan ..., why the hell are only you which wear pants? We all do not wear. There's a secret what the heck?"

Tarzan: "There's no secrecy!"

Monkey: "We're good friends. Why is there still secrecy?"

Tarzan: "I said nothing, means there is no secrets!"

Monkey are not satisfied with the answers of Tarzan. So he invites his friends to the his cottage Tarzan and lurking to find the secret of Tarzan.

As usual, before bathing Tarzan always open his pants(it is the only one his pants)

so the monkeys saw  Tarzan who naked, the monkeys was laughing until stomach pain. Monkey said, "No wonder he wears pants. Apparently he was embarrassed, because the his tail is in the front, short and small.! "

Housemaid
One day, a lady housekeeper came to her female employer.

Maid: "Madam, I want to ask for a raise!"
Employer: "Why do I have to raise your salary?"
Maid: "There are 3 reasons mistress .. First I cleaned the house cleaner than the mistress."
Employer: "Who says?"
Helper: "Sir sources say ma'am".
Employer: "Oh ..."
Maid: "Secondly, I cook better than the mistress."
Employer: "Who says?"
Maid: " Mr. who says to me."
Employer: "Oh ..."
Maid :: Third, I am in bed greater than the mistress. "

Employer: "Hah!!! What host that say?!?!! (With a bit suspiciously)"
Maid: "No ma'am .., but host next to house said, if mistress is less great in bed ""
Employer: "Ssssstt!!! how much do you ask for a raise..??”

Child custody
 A married couple was attending their divorce trial. In the trial will decide who gets custody of the child.
with screaming hysterically and jumping the wife said:
"Your Majesty, I have conceive and give birth this baby to the world's... with my pain and patience!! the child custody have to be mine! "

The judge said to the husband:

" What is your defense against the demands of your wife? "

The husband paused for a moment, in a flat voice he said:

"We are sorry Your Majesty, if I insert a coin into soft drinks vending machinethe engine will shake a moment, and drinks out, According to the noble, drinks it belongs to me or the machine?"

Big liar
A traffic policeman stopped the car of a man who raced at high speed through red lights.
Traffic Police: " Good evening sir. Please show your driver's license ".
Man: ""Wah, I do not have Sir. My driver's license has been revoked because too often ticketed ".
Traffic Police: (Grinning) "what is.? If so, please show the vehicle registration ".

Man: "I do not have a sir. Because this is not my car. This stolen cars ".

Traffic Police: " stolen Cars?"
Man: "Yes sir. But, wait a moment. If not mistaken, I see there is vehicle registration in the tool box in the back seat when I keep my gun in there "

Traffic Police: "Hah ...? There is a gun in the toolbox? "
Man: "Yes sir. I put my gun in there when I finished robbing and killing a woman and put her body in the trunk ".

Traffic Police: "There is a corpse in the trunk ..?"
Men: (With a cold face) "Yes sir ....".

Such hearing, the traffic policeman frantically called his supervisor who then contacted the police chief. a few minutes later, the car was immediately surrounded by police cars and police chief approached the man and asked him to stay calm.

Police chief: "May I see your driver's license, sir?"
Man: "Oh, sure". (Her license is still valid and official)
Police chief: "Whose car is this?"
Man: "My car sir. This is my vehicle registration ". (Also still in effect)
Police chief: "Can you open the tool box slowly and show me your gun in there?"
Man: "Of course sir, but no gun there". (Of course, there is no gun in there)
Police chief: "Hmm .. if so, may you open the trunk, please? I got a report that there was a body in there ".
Man: "Well sir ..." (Baggage opened and there was no body there.)
Police Chief: "I do not understand. The officer stopped the your car and said you did not have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the toolbox, rob and carry the corpse in the trunk ".
Man: "Oh, what he said like that.? I'm sure the big liar also told you that I was still drove in a red light. "

who is my soulmate.???

akuuuuuu galauuuuuuu

 you're so pretty, you know .. I so want to see you now. I love you, I'm stupid but I'm going to be smart for you, I'm crazy but it's also because of you, I have to succeed is because of you ... all this just for you, whatever you say is most important to me is your happiness ... ..your sweet smile with beautiful words that come out of your mouth, that is what willgenerate power .......
. elegance and modesty your heart, that's what would make a wonderful trip my career ....but who are you????? ... where are you??? ... my soul mate .. come to me, I just need you now. only you .. I need to have on my side ... with me, keep me, and encouraging mewhen I was tired and bored with my failure .... when I'm confused with my big plans,,,,,when I doubt will all my actions ....
come to me .... Come closer,,, give me a clue that it's you .... my soul mate ..

laugh

laugh

Letter From Husband

A pair of middle-aged husband and wife who are both from a professional feel

tired with the bustle of the capital. They decided to vacation in Padang and

reoccupy the same hotel room as they through the honeymoon period 30

year.

Because of his work, the husband had to fly first, and his wife had followed

the next day.

After checking in at the hotel in Padang, the husband found a computer

connected to the Internet has been installed in her room. Happily he wrote an e-mail

tenderly to his wife in his office on Jalan Sudirman, Jakarta.

Unfortunately, he is wrong type an e-mail his wife and without realizing his mistake he

continue to send e-mail.

In the area of ​​Pekanbaru, a woman had just returned from the funeral of her new husband

died. Arriving home, he checked e-mail to read the utterances

condolences.

Just finished reading the first e-mail, he fainted. The oldest child

surprise then to read e-mail, which read:

To: My wife's beloved

Subject: I've arrived!!!

Date: May 22, 2006

I know you're surprised but happy to hear from me. Apparently they are already here

install internet as well, he'll be in touch for loved ones at home.

I just got here and already checked-in. He said they also prepared

everything for your arrival tomorrow.

I Also can not patiently waiting for you . I hope your journey here as well

exciting as my trip yesterday.

Oh yes, here again the red-hot. If the will, the children were asked to follow too.

Love,

Father

Price Cockatoos

At a shop selling birds, have 2 parrot. Two birds

different, one likes singing and the other is silent, came one

want to buy a parrot. He said to the bird seller:

Buyer: How much is this cockatoos bird...?

Sellers: If the like singing was 500,000 rupiah, while the silent one million

dollars.

Buyer: Well why the likes singing cheaper than just stay quiet.

Seller: yah .... clearly different from that cost one million was the creator of the song anyway

Cage Lions

Ringmaster: "Hey, why do you forget to close the enclosure door after the show

last night?

Mick: "Actually, sir do not have to be too problematic. Who would dare

stealing a lion? "

Inventors Australia

Teacher: Budi, where the Australia?

Budi: Here, Mom! (Pointing to map)

Teacher: Good! Now Agus, who discovered Australia?

Agus: Budi, Mom!

Coffee and Eyes Right

Patient: "Doc ... every time I drink coffee from a cup, it feels right eye, as there are

so piercing dock .. "

Doctor: "If so, each would drink coffee ... remove the first silverware of the

cup .. '

Patient: "O. .. Thanks, Doc .."